The Time Turner

[inuyashalover1265]

The Girl With No Emotion

What happens when a young, human girl fights back agaist Sesshomoru? Will he kill, or fall for her?

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of the original charectars from Inuyasha. I am very sad about it though...

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Inuyasha and friends had been traveling in search of the jewels for two years now. Demons were after them everyday, and everyday they became stronger for battles with Naraku. One day, when Shippo and Kirara were out picking flowers and unusually normal sized demon approached them. They were in the middle of the fight when Inuyasha began to get weaker.
“Damn! This is way to strong for it’s size! But I have to keep trying! Wind Scar!” The powerful attack was easily dodged and the strange demon punched Inuyasha, causing him to fly backwards into a tree.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome screamed pulling an arrow across her bow. He can’t take much more of this! She shot the arrow and it unbelievably missed.
“Harati Huso!” Sango yelled thrusting her boomerang at the tough demon. It missed completely! How can that be? She thought with a terrified look on her face.
“Inuyasha’s unconscious!” Miroku exclaimed. He couldn’t suck it up! It had a jewel shard. And as long as it had that, Miroku could do nothing. Kagome feared for her life as the demon slashed at her. It was like time slowed when Inuyasha awoke.
“Kagome!” If time had slowed then why...? He paused his thoughts. In the slowed time, a woman wearing a black dress with long sleeves and a hooded cloak, jumped out of a tree at normal speed, and picked up Kagome. The moment she jumped away, time continued to roll on. The kind woman set Kagome down and attacked the demon with her nails. She’ll never kill it that way! I sense no demon at all! Inuyasha thought with triumph.
For a split second it seem as it there was a glitch in time, like a wrinkle in an old video game, it froze and sped up really fast. The demon stood there as she landed for a moment, then slowly slid apart cut sideways in half. The woman turned around licking the blood off her dull fingernails and said,
“You must leave. I may not save you again.” Her voice was as cold as ice, frightening to any human. Her and Sesshomorou would make a great couple! Giggle! Kagome thought. The girl gave Kagome an ice cold look, as if she read her mind. Inuyasha, also scared out of his wits, walked up to her and began to remove her hood. The girl snatched his hand and said gruffly,
“My face is of no importance to you!” Inuyasha quickly retreated, his hand burned by the cold sensation. She ran back into the forest. For the next three days they were attacked, but when the demon seemed to be getting the upper hand the strange girl appear and kicked it’s ass! Until on the fourth day, a man who Inuyasha did not want to be destroyed attacked them.
“Sesshomorou, you bastard! What do you want?” Inuyasha yelled.
“Why... Tetseiga dear brother. Is there anything else in life that truly matters?” He tried to use the whip to lash his Inuyasha but the young woman jumped in front and caught the whip dead on. Sesshomorou was shocked. Strange. She caught my whip, but I detected no fear in her of missing the whip and slashing herself. The woman ripped it out of his hands and threw it into the trees.
“Are you an idiot?!!?” Inuyasha screamed “He’ll cut you to ribbons!” Inuyasha started to say something more but he was stopped by her abrupt answer.
“No he won’t.” Sesshomorou was impressed by her overcoming confidence.
“Let’s see who’s really under the hood.” Sesshomorou said smugly as he started to walk towards her. She showed no sign of backing away, fear, she didn’t even have confidence. It reminded Sesshomorou of a dead person. He tried to see her face but the hood refused to let anyone know it’s owners true identity. Inuyasha sniffed the air and almost gagged.
“Wow. Is her smell that overpowering?” Sango asked. Inuyasha shook his head yes.
“But it doesn’t smell bad. It is just so sweet. She smells like...like... my mother.” He said, sorrow in his eyes.. Kagome was surprised that the woman smelled that sweet.
“I can’t imagine how irritated Sesshomorou’s nose is!” Inuyasha exclaimed. Indeed Sesshomorou was smelling the overpowering scent, but it smelt nice to him. This was odd, for he felt no affection for this strange and irritating girl. He walked right up to her and pressed his rock hard body against hers. She was unnaturally strong for someone of her size, when he had bashed into her she didn’t move. Sesshomorou reached for her hood. He almost had his hand on it when he blinked, first mistake. She was gone. In a nearby tree she had her back to Sesshomorou and lifted up her hood. Both Inuyasha and Sesshomorou caught a glimpse of her thick, black hair. She turned around and slipped off the tree.
“Your winning!” Kagome said to her.
“You can beat him!” Sango pitched in. The woman ignored these meaningless words and walked over to Sesshomorou. There was a slight pause in everything. The breeze, the birds, even Inuyasha’s hair stopped waving. Sesshomorou noticed this and all of the sudden the scent was incredibly close and she was standing right in front of him. That’s it! He thought. She may be fast and strong but she is using time! Her scent is still wherever she is and that’s all I need to follow! His thoughts were interrupted by a painful (yes that’s right, PAIN people! He does feel it!) Jab in the stomach that sent him stumbling backwards. He wiped blood from his mouth and said,
“I guess this is going to be interesting.” She prepared to teleport through time again. But this time, he followed her scent. She was trying to sneak up behind him but as she was rushing by, he grabbed her by the cloak. Sesshomorou expected her to at least give a yelp of surprise but when he heard nothing, in anger, he ripped off her entire cloak. She was beautiful. Her long, thick, black hair was sprawled across her shoulders. She wore a long, black dress with long sleeves (Yes, I know I'm repeating, give me a better word if you have one.) where the tips were stained with blood. She had a black diamond imbedded in her forehead. Sesshomorou longed for her eyes to be open. He wondered why she was not struggling to break free. Little did he know, she was waiting for him to loosen his grip, even just a little bit. Inuyasha was the only one who noticed it, but he had never seen his brother look at a woman like this since, well... Sesshomorou looked at his mother. Kagome wondered why she was so relaxed. If Kagome were in that position she would have cried. Sesshomorou felt taken aback that nor was she scared, but she was totally meditated, and what really pissed him off was that she wouldn’t open her eyes!

* Inside The Mind Of Sesshomorou*

Open your eyes damn it! He screamed in his mind. You don’t have to yell. A calmed and ice cold voice said in his head. I can hear you just fine. He had an image of the girl in his head. Are you talking to me in my mind? He asked. Of course. She announced. You want me to open my eyes? Sesshomorou said yes in a very annoyed tone. Alright. But I don’t think their what you think they are. She said simply.

*Real World*

The woman opened her eyes to the world. They were surprised at what her eyes looked like.
“HOLY SHIT!! HER EYES ARE PURPLE!” Inuyasha shouted bluntly. Everyone but Sesshomorou stared at Inuyasha.
“What?” Inuyasha asked, annoyed. “Hey Sesshomorou?” Inuyasha said waving his hand in Sesshomorou’s face. Sesshomorou brushed it out of his view. Inuyasha escorted them to a safe distance of ten feet from Sesshomorou.
“Hey? Bro?” Inuyasha said again. It was no use. Sesshomorou was lost in her eyes of deep violet. This woman, what has she done to me? Sesshomorou loosened his grip. She punched him across the nose and he retreated upon his cloud into the sky.


Sorry I had to end it so soon! Storm coming up. Updates soon, I promise!

:-)

[chibipyroduo]

Questions- What happened? Why does Sessomaru feel this way? What happened to the emotions? What happened to my sanity?

Comments- I think this would be a better script for an episode, it's very short and choppy, it doesn't flow very well. So try and expand your writing from just, "they picked flowers" to, "they picked flowers in the medaow just beyond the ridge, near a stream of water which blah was drinking from." Use better diction, learn the difference between rawr and lala (use harsh diction when nessecary and use passive diction when nessecary and learn which is which)

I guess I should just post this warning at the begining, I will be very critical about everything that I read, sorry, please don't take offense.

[inuyashalover1265]

Oh no, it's fine! I like constructive comments. I appreciate them!
Thank you for your comment!

[Karumichan]

I very much agree with Duo-chan on this. In the beginning it also just "starts" If that makes sense. Theres no plot leading into the story, one minute they're picking flower, the next sentence InuYasha's unconcious. Even though it's based on Sessh more then Inu you could still add some action into there.
Also, I would assume your making your character a mystery kind of person. But it's rather odd that she's human, and can do all those things. Maybe give some clues, or foreshaodowing on that?
Anyways, seems like a good story so far, I'll wait for more. ^_^

[inuyashalover1265]

Oh, thank you!
Man, you guys are really blowing up on me....
She's supposed to be mysterious and it's kinda the point to make it strange that she can do all that stuff.
I'll update soon. Better. Promise.

[Karumichan]

Man, you guys are really blowing up on me....

Hahah, well it's better then saying "this is good. update soon." That wouldn't help much I don't think.

She's supposed to be mysterious and it's kinda the point to make it strange that she can do all that stuff.

Well as long as you have a plan then. Alot of people just have those kind of characters and they never explain why they can do what they do.

Great, I'll look foward to the update. ^_^

[inuyashalover1265]

“You beat him. You beat Sesshomorou!” Kagome shouted jumping into the air. “And you saved my life! You must stay and let me cook for you!”
“If you call him running away winning.” Inuyasha said angrily. The girl said nothing and picked up her cloak.
“I shouldn’t stay. Therefore I will not.” She assembled her cloak and started to walk away. She would have let me die if she wanted me dead. Kagome thought.
“Please stay! Sesshomorou attacks a lot and tries to kill us all! Your just going to be coming back again!” Kagome argued. Sango and Miroku shivered in fear for what might happen to their dear friend. This girl is determined to make me stay. And she’s right, he attacks often. I also need to see if that demon, Sesshomorou, deserves to die. He’s killed many, but he has saved one countless times. Is this one merely a slave? I must find answers to these questions. Kagome awaited her answer as Inuyasha, Sango and Miroku cowered behind her.
“Fine. I will stay, but not for long.”
“Two days.” Kagome offered.
“One. And this is not up for debate.” The woman sat against a tree and began to hum.

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While Kagome cooked, Inuyasha sat beside the strange woman. (Sango, Miroku and Inuyasha played rock paper scissors to see who would go talk to her.)
“Hey.” He said.
“Hello.” She replied coldly.
“Whatcha lookin’ at?”
“The sunset.”
“Why?” Since he was worthy of an answer, the strange woman replied,
“Because it calms me. It helps me find balance.”
“Really? So what’s your name?”
“Suma. Suma Ria.” Inuyasha began to reply but it was stopped short by Kagome.
“Dinners ready!” She said, great joy in her voice. Suma’s eyes opened and she looked around. She felt someone. Weak, but the held on to an item of strong power. She knew it was no threat to her.
Jaken tried to make the Staff Of Two Heads be quiet, but it was vibrating uncontrollably. If he had known the staff would be like this he never would have taken it with him.
“Shut up!” He whispered in anger. Jaken had to be quiet so he wouldn’t be detected. But it was too late. The little toad scampered off into the woods before he was noticed any further.
“I do not understand why Lord Sesshomorou would want information on a pathetic human. I wish I could have caught her name, but she said it so silently. It was around that time when the staff went crazy!” Jaken ran quickly so he would not become potential prey for the animals around him.

The food was quite delicious, but Suma would have none of it. She just kept staring at the sun, which was setting quicker than she had thought.
“Aren’t you going to have any?” Kagome asked. Suma turned and shook her head no.
“I don’t eat much.” Kagome looked hurt. Suma realized she was being to soft and that her body would regret this, but she grabbed a bowl and shoved it at Kagome. Kagome smiled and happily filled it with soup. She’s like Inuyasha. A couple more days and she’ll have warmed up to me and my friends. Suma ate quickly but not sloppily. Then she turned back around and watched the sunset even closer.
“Why do you fear the nightfall?” Sango dared to ask. Sango was also worthy of an answer. Everyone got ready for Suma to turn around and kill everyone, but she merely said,
“I don’t like the dark . It brings evil with it.” Suma stood up suddenly and looked around. Inuyasha’s ear DIDN’T twitch.
“What’s wrong?” Miroku asked, his fear of her gone. Suma knelt down and picked up the soil.
“This place... I am familiar with it. I know why all the demons are attacking you!” They all exchanged glances before answering.
“What? Why?” Kagome questioned. Suma turned to face her and started packing their things.
“They want you off their land. But... luckily for you, I grew up in their village. Shall we go meet them?” Suma said in a rush. Inuyasha began to say no, but Kagome stopped him and exclaimed,
“Her home village! This may be our chance to find more about her!” Inuyasha considered this and spoke for everyone.
“Sure. Why not?” Suma was glad she didn’t consider that a question. Two days passed before they left and Suma became acquainted with Shippo and Kirara.
"Who are you?" She had asked. Shippo held no fear and hopped on her shoulder. Surprised, Suman did nothing as Kirara curled up by her feet. I think they like me.... She thought as they gathered their stuff, ready for the long walk ahead of them.

Aww man! I thought it would be longer than this....oh well. I'll make the next one longer.

[Karumichan]

Weak, but the held on to an item of strong power. She knew it was no threat to her.
Jaken tried to make the Staff Of Two Heads be quiet, but it was vibrating

Transitions? It's the number one thing you need in stories.
Also, sometimes it's hard to tell who is thinking what. So possibly add a 'kagome thought to herself ......' or 'Suma pondered ....'
That way no one has to read over things more then once to understand.

Other then that, nice. ^_^ I see you added some forshadowing on Suma's origins, that helps.

[chibipyroduo]

Yes Karumi is right foreshadowing does help, a lot. I'll agree on the transition part as well. I have a couple of other things to add as well. It's still rough and choppy, you did a little better, but the transitions to a couple of days didn't feel right. Also try the diction game again, what words can you make stronger and which words can remain weak. Also try and delve into just one characters thoughts and keep it at their POV, like not first person but 3rd person through a character, for instance your Suma character, you seem to no delve into her thoughts at all, try it you might like it. It just doesn't seem natural unless you go into everyone's thoughts.(I'm telling you 3rd person omnipotent is a b-tch to write because you've got to get everything together and know everything about everything!) So try and stick to one person's POV, so pick a character Suma, Inu, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, blah, pick someone and then get into their thoughts and emotions.